I have been avoiding going to networking meetings lately. Not because I have been busy (although I have), not because I think networking is useless, and not because I hate people. I have been avoiding networking meetings because like most self-advancement/improvement techniques that become popular, Networking has lost its way.
Every salesperson is told that networking is the way to sales nirvana; a source for an infinite number of leads and referrals. Every job seeker is told that networking is the one sure way to find the job of their dreams. Networking meetings are now just everyone checking everyone else out, each person trying to figure out if they can get something out of the others. The operative phrase is “we don’t want to just get to know you, we want to get to know your rolodex.” Which is just another way of saying “I don’t care about you, I only care about who you can introduce me to.”
Effective networking is a process of developing strong and deep relationships. It begins with truly being interested in the people you meet, working to understand who they are and what they do. Learning what their dreams and goals are, and striving to find ways to help them (sometimes that is nothing more than sitting and listening attentively). Sorry, feigning interest doesn’t cut it; they will figure you out. Offering quid pro quo (i.e., the classic “I’ll get you referrals if you get me some”) may work here and there, but usually ends up one sided (and not always in your favor!), and peters out over time.
Friends will introduce you to their other friends. Friends will talk you up at a party or a business meeting. Friends will lend you an ear when you need it. Friends and friendships can last a lifetime.
The process is slow, and there will be dead-ends, but take it from someone who has received some fantastic referrals and support of incalculable value, the return far exceeds the investment.
27 January, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 1
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