I was talking with a good friend the other day and she was telling me about a problem she had with her sales process. My friend is an excellent salesperson in large part because her greatest strength is an ability to connect with people. For as long as I have known her I have been impressed with the way that she seems to mesh with people she meets almost immediately. She develops a strong rapport and high level of trust very quickly (which is justified - her interest and concern for people is quite real and heartfelt).
The problem comes with some of the after sale follow ups. My friend has been doing on-site visits, and the time involved can be considerable (with only a small part being relevant to business), which then cuts into sales time, which makes her uncomfortable, so she procrastinates on doing the follow ups . The very thing that makes her a great salesperson is now causing her anxiety - her strength has become a vulnerability.
What to do? Change the rules of the game. Instead of on-site visits, do follow-up via phone calls. My friend has excellent phone skills, her pleasantness and warmth come through the phone very well. The benefit to her is she can schedule these calls apart from sales time, which eliminates her anxiety and procrastination, which also gets rid of the delay her clients were experiencing with follow-up. Obviously she will test this over a period of time to ensure it is working as well as her on-site visits, and take corrective action as needed.
A simple change in how the game was played resulted in an alternative that should work out to everyone's benefit, continuing to leverage a strength rather than "fixing" a weakness. A great example of how it is done!
01 April, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 0
when a strength becomes a vulnerability
you can't delegate that
Delegating is one of the more obvious ways to work around a vulnerability; assuming that you believe it can be delegated in the first place. Let's take networking as an example. Since networking is all about developing relationships it would not seem to be a good candidate for delegation. Unless you break it down into its component parts.
The first step in networking is actually introducing yourself to a particular person. If you are particularly shy, that vulnerability can make "breaking the ice" a difficult task. Most books I have read on the subject concentrate on "fixing" your shyness. What if we approach it from another direction? Why not have someone you know introduce you to a few people? Delegate the difficult ice-breaking to a friend who is familiar with the person you are trying to engage, or someone who does not share your shyness vulnerability. The only downside is that it limits the number of people you might meet at a particular event (your friend is probably going to wander away at some point and do their own networking), but meeting a few people is still better than meeting none.
You can delegate far more than you think if you take a minute to break down tasks that seem to defy delegation into smaller parts. What else can you think of that defies delegation?
31 March, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 0
The first step in networking is actually introducing yourself to a particular person. If you are particularly shy, that vulnerability can make "breaking the ice" a difficult task. Most books I have read on the subject concentrate on "fixing" your shyness. What if we approach it from another direction? Why not have someone you know introduce you to a few people? Delegate the difficult ice-breaking to a friend who is familiar with the person you are trying to engage, or someone who does not share your shyness vulnerability. The only downside is that it limits the number of people you might meet at a particular event (your friend is probably going to wander away at some point and do their own networking), but meeting a few people is still better than meeting none.
You can delegate far more than you think if you take a minute to break down tasks that seem to defy delegation into smaller parts. What else can you think of that defies delegation?
31 March, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 0
incremental victories
Wars are won through a series of battles that advance your side toward an ultimate goal. Your life proceeds similarly (hopefully without bloodshed). Your vulnerabilities will be with you your entire life and unless you spend your days locked in a room, you will face a never ending series of challenges that engage those vulnerabilities during that life.
The key is to see those those challenges as you would a war - to be fought in small battles. Sounds obvious but I see so few people doing it. They see the challenges before them and become overwhelmed. Take apart a problem. Break it into small pieces. Then see whether you can change the rules of the game, ignore it, or delegate it. Finish one battle, move on to the next.
Sorry for the testosterone loaded war metaphor, but it was either sports or war, and I hate sports metaphors even more than war ones.
20 March, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 0
The key is to see those those challenges as you would a war - to be fought in small battles. Sounds obvious but I see so few people doing it. They see the challenges before them and become overwhelmed. Take apart a problem. Break it into small pieces. Then see whether you can change the rules of the game, ignore it, or delegate it. Finish one battle, move on to the next.
Sorry for the testosterone loaded war metaphor, but it was either sports or war, and I hate sports metaphors even more than war ones.
20 March, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 0
in praise of doing nothing
One way to work around a vulnerability is to simply avoid or eliminate tasks and jobs that engage them.
Obviously, you can't just avoid or eliminate everything that you don't like, can't do well, or aren't comfortable with, but, it is truly amazing how many things are done both in business, and life in general, simply because they have always been done. A process becomes ingrained, and accepted as part of the status quo.
Are there things in your life that really aren't that important to you, but you were told throughout your life the criticality or importance of these things, or that if you don't do them you would somehow be incomplete or a bad person? Maybe you just convinced yourself that these things, whatever they might be, were important (a simple way to denigrate yourself perhaps?).
Admittedly, there is a fine line between deciding something isn't important and using that as an excuse to not pursue something you truly desire (one is realism, the other an excuse or sour grapes). However, if you can keep that line clear, you will find yourself a lot happier and more effective.
Can you think of something that plagues you but really and truly isn't that important? Care to share?
19 March, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 0
Obviously, you can't just avoid or eliminate everything that you don't like, can't do well, or aren't comfortable with, but, it is truly amazing how many things are done both in business, and life in general, simply because they have always been done. A process becomes ingrained, and accepted as part of the status quo.
Are there things in your life that really aren't that important to you, but you were told throughout your life the criticality or importance of these things, or that if you don't do them you would somehow be incomplete or a bad person? Maybe you just convinced yourself that these things, whatever they might be, were important (a simple way to denigrate yourself perhaps?).
Admittedly, there is a fine line between deciding something isn't important and using that as an excuse to not pursue something you truly desire (one is realism, the other an excuse or sour grapes). However, if you can keep that line clear, you will find yourself a lot happier and more effective.
Can you think of something that plagues you but really and truly isn't that important? Care to share?
19 March, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 0
the perfect excuse
While listening to someone arguing with a fitness coach about losing weight, the phrase "I love myself the way I am" made my ears perk up. From the point of view of "positive thinking", this is a potent argument against taking action on your vulnerabilities. Who can argue with "I am what I am and I accept that"? I have said that having vulnerabilities (and in some cases of weight problems the inability to say no to the wrong kind of foods could be considered a vulnerability) does not mean you are broken, so shouldn't I agree whole-heartedly with that use of "positive thinking"?
Uhh, no.
Putting positive spin on a vulnerability is just another way of throwing your hands up in the air and giving up. Of course now instead of beating yourself up and feeling guilty, you can actually feel virtuous that you see yourself in such a positive light (and this applies to many, many things besides weight - that was just the topic that got this started).
Don't fall into that trap. No you aren't broken, but if a vulnerability is preventing you from achieving something you desire, or interfering in your life somehow (and if it isn't, well, there is a discussion about that coming up), you need to look at the ways you can work around it. Think of unique ways to change the rules of the game, or look for assistance (i.e. delegate). Don't surrender or give up, and don't rationalize a vulnerability with "positive thinking".
17 March, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 0
Uhh, no.
Putting positive spin on a vulnerability is just another way of throwing your hands up in the air and giving up. Of course now instead of beating yourself up and feeling guilty, you can actually feel virtuous that you see yourself in such a positive light (and this applies to many, many things besides weight - that was just the topic that got this started).
Don't fall into that trap. No you aren't broken, but if a vulnerability is preventing you from achieving something you desire, or interfering in your life somehow (and if it isn't, well, there is a discussion about that coming up), you need to look at the ways you can work around it. Think of unique ways to change the rules of the game, or look for assistance (i.e. delegate). Don't surrender or give up, and don't rationalize a vulnerability with "positive thinking".
17 March, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 0
letting them choose the way
I would like to but...
I couldn't do that...
It probably wouldn't work anyway...
These are the kinds of phrases we use to limit ourselves. The underlying theme in all of these types of self-limiting statements is that we can't do something or make something happen because of a weakness we have.
A variation on the self-limiting statements above, but worse in its own way (and one that had trapped me for years), is: "I'll just do this because that's what I'm good at." Whether "this" energizes us or not. Whether "this" makes us jump out of bed in the morning or not. Whether "this" actually engages our strengths or not.
We let our vulnerabilities choose our way for us.
Look at some of the ideals you have abandoned, projects you never started, or are still thinking wistfully about. Now consider what was the vulnerability you had that kept you from it. How could you work around that vulnerability? Now pick one and go do it. Feel free to share in comments.
10 March, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 0
I couldn't do that...
It probably wouldn't work anyway...
These are the kinds of phrases we use to limit ourselves. The underlying theme in all of these types of self-limiting statements is that we can't do something or make something happen because of a weakness we have.
A variation on the self-limiting statements above, but worse in its own way (and one that had trapped me for years), is: "I'll just do this because that's what I'm good at." Whether "this" energizes us or not. Whether "this" makes us jump out of bed in the morning or not. Whether "this" actually engages our strengths or not.
We let our vulnerabilities choose our way for us.
Look at some of the ideals you have abandoned, projects you never started, or are still thinking wistfully about. Now consider what was the vulnerability you had that kept you from it. How could you work around that vulnerability? Now pick one and go do it. Feel free to share in comments.
10 March, 2010 | mtomsho | Leave comment - 0
